When You Feel Frustrated

Are you making your life impossible? When you hit a wall and people and projects don’t work out the way you planned, you tend to apply more force. Frustrated, you take it up a notch, pushing even harder for success. However, forcing an issue does not usually get results. Getting caught up in the frenzy of seeking to control, you thrash around as though caught in a riptide dangerously being pulled under. Ironically, all you have to do is to easily swim sideways, a few feet away to safety and freedom. When relationships or work are not going your way, try to flow with the current…

Flow means creating balance in body, mind and spirit. We need to stabilize ourselves. Sometimes we have to let the current carry us, to yield to that which we cannot control and put our trust in others, or the universe. We can break up our life into moments and be satisfied with the moment. If that moment is frustrating, the next moment can be better. Sometimes we have to do nothing, but wait and collect our energies. We have to give up our preconceived neat plans, take a detour or feel our way around intuitively.

When we flow, we become one with what we are doing, and we are graceful: Like a golf swing that emanates from the golfer without his mind breaking up the swing into a series of prescribed movements. When we don’t flow such as when we first learn to dance, we might sacrifice rhythm and style for technique. We concentrate so hard on getting it right, that our movements are forced and we forget to have fun.

Many of us experience frustration trying to control life partners, elderly parents and children - perhaps all at the same time. Although we mean well, “We know what’s good for them,” we have to respect the will and flow of others. Like love, we cannot compel, but instead, set it free like a bird and hope that it flies back to us. Carl Jung aptly said, “The shoe that fits us so well, pinches the foot of another.”

Instead of feeling depleted and frustrated, learn how to flow. Here are some suggestions:
If you are forcing an issue and are not successful, take a break for awhile.
Sit quietly in a natural setting and tap into your peaceful, loving self. Feel how large and infinite your spirit is. Absorb the landscape, whether an ocean, a garden, or a picture. Intuitive thoughts will flow freely and inspire you. They will come to you.
Play music that revitalizes and inspires you. Music provides the necessary stimulus to induce flow.
Say no to activities or people who rob you of your quiet time.
Surround yourself with positive people to build up your energy levels. We do absorb energy from others. Be careful of what kind of energy it is.
Be patient with your goals. Tackle small, manageable goals. See what’s right in front of you and immerse yourself in it and appreciate this small accomplishment. Ease up on a deadline for your grand vision.
As things unfold, flow with the changes and accept different directions, criticism and detours along the way. You might find greater success and happiness than you originally envisioned.

Find Quick Stress Relief
Stopping your stress response relatively early on can help you to respond more calmly rather than reacting to stress in a way that you might regret. Quick stress relievers such as breathing exercises or Progressive Muscle Relaxation, for example, can calm you down and help you feel less frustrated and more able to handle what comes. Then you can take the next steps with a clearer head. Learn more about quick stress relievers so you can be prepared for what comes.
Change Your Attitude
Much of whether or not we see something as stressful depends on our habitual thought patterns and how we process the world around us. For example, those who see things as under their control tend to be less stressed about what happens to them, as they see that they always have options for change. Studies have shown health benefits to optimistic ways of thinking as well. Learn more about how to develop a resilient state of mind, and you’ll feel less stressed.
Change Your Lifestyle
If you feel yourself to be continually on edge, it’s possible that something needs to change in your life. If you cut down on commitments, take good care of your body, and make other healthy lifestyle changes, you’ll be dealing with less overall stress so you’ll be more effective at managing the stress that you do encounter. Read more about the most effective changes you can make to lead a healthy lifestyle.
Draw on Social Support
Often people are helped by having the release and support of sharing their troubles with close friends, family or loved ones. While it’s not healthy to constantly complain about an endless list of woes, talking to a trusted friend about frustrations now and then (and returning the favor by being a good listener) can help you process what’s going on with your life, and enable you to brainstorm solutions. If you don’t have someone you’re comfortable sharing your situation with, seeing a therapist or starting a regular journaling practice have both been shown to have benefits as well.
Have Some Regular Stress Relief Activities
To maintain a less stressed lifestyle, it’s important to have some regular stress relieving activities in your life. Those who regularly walk, meditate, or enjoy other stress relief activities in their lives tend to feel less stressed in general and less reactive to specific stressors that arise through the day. To find out which stress relief options would work best for your personality and lifestyle, I recommend the Stress Reliever Personality Test, which allows you to answer a few questions and find many options that should suit you.