I think this student should get 100%

Love this one! My kind of guy  not too intelligent but very smart.

I think this student should get 100%

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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the  page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a  wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already  built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Amazing Magic Image

Amazing Magic Image

1. Stare at the red star on the girl’s nose for 30 seconds

2. Turn your eyes towards the wall/roof or somewhere else on a plane surface

3. Keep blinking your eyes!

You'll be amazed!

Techno magic: "wat else do v want".

Google has Done it Again !!!

Check out this device ...
Guess what you can do with a touch screen, camera, scanner, WiFi, and google maps ...



View a building through it, and it gives you all the information about that building....

Choose a building and touch a floor and it tells you more details of the building. You can use it when you want to know a car model, an insect name, what kind of food is served at a restaurant and how much, who built a bridge, etc. etc.


It’s got a scanner built in.


so you can use it this way when you want to check the meaning of a word in the newspaper, book, magazine, etc. It would be much easier to read a real book. You can use the dictionary, Wikipedia, thesaurus and anything else available on the web. What do you think?

Indoor guide:Works in a building, airport, station, hospital, etc.

Automatic simultaneous translation: here Latin to English.

Search keyword: Helpful when you want to find out a word from a lot of text in newspaper/book.


Nutrition: This kind of function would be helpful for health freaks..

Spying Stuff..

Interesting Unusual Things

Every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!

Every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!

Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction. Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!

There always exist two sides of the same coin!

All good things come to those who wait
But
Time and tide wait for none

The pen is mightier than the sword
But
Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.
But
Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free.
But
There’s no such thing as free lunch.

Slow and steady wins the race.
But
Time waits for none.

Look before you leap.
But
Strike while the iron is hot.

Do it well, or not at all.
But
Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together.
But
Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
But
Forewarned is fore armed.

Doubt is the begining of wisdom.
But
Faith will move mountains.

Great starts make great finishes.
But
It isn't over till it's over.

Practice makes perfect.
But
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

Silence s Golden.
But
The squeaky wheels gets the grease.

You're never too old to learn.
But
you can't teach the old dog new tricks.

What's good for the goose is good for the gardner.
But
One man's meat is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
But
Out of sight, Out of mind.

Too Many cooks spoil the broth.
But
Many hands make light work.

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
But
wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Why India is still a developing country..?( everyone must read)

An Old Story:


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.



Indian Version:



The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt

support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for ' Bengal Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Mamta Bannerji allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Kapil Sibbal makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.


Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Mamta calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.


Many years later....


The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley ,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ,



......AND


As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers,

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India is still a developing country…!!!

Y customer care people r paid highly?

TAKE A LOOK:

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."



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2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


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3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."


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4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)


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5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***


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6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####

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7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++

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8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support : ??????

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9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$




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10). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????

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11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : @@@@@

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12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

--------------------------------------------------

13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++

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The best of the lot
14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support:: (hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM http://nosmoke.com/> http://nosmoke.com/ > at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

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Hight Of all (Too Good)

15) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

JUST 1 QUESTION

Its not a quiz. JUST 1 QUESTION.

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading...
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This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;

Or you could take the old friend who once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

NOW READ THIS: The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let to take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.


Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

READ IT FAST

Believe it or not, you can read it...

READ IT FAST..

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdaniegThe phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem atCmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteerbe in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitllraed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos notraed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed : Typoglycemia

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt??

God's Little Notes